Just a little update!

Well, I guess God doesn't want me to loose the weight...I mean every time I get back into the groove and commit to bring healthy, something happens to derail me!! I am going to try really hard to let these newest developments NOT effect my drive!

Well over the last few weeks I finally got my eating under control, and got to where I thought I was ready for a real workout routine! But this past weekend my baby boy broke his leg and its just been a rough couple of days. I never thought I was an "emotional" eater....but I guess I am. I didn't eat while I was in the hospital with my son, but ever since we for home, I've been "bingeing" on everything. I know I shouldn't do it, and even as I am eating I tell myself that I shouldn't be doing that!

Ugh, I just don't know what I am going to do! I know that I need to keep it up, but after he fell down and got hurt I just don't want to do much of anything but sit down next to him and love on him! I want to go to the gym tonight, but I don't know if I should! I mean, my hubby is here and I know he is more than capable of taking care of the kids, but I guess I will feel guilty! :-/

Well, that's where we are now, as a family - and where I am emotionally....one day my life will stop being so hectic and finally be smooth for a change! Here's hoping!!!!

I love food - Need to find balance!!!

Okay, so obviously I have a problem. I love food....and not the kind of food I should love. I mean, I really do like fruit and veggies - but give me a choice between a burrito and a salad....I'm going to go for the burrito every time...then feel guilty and eat the salad after. I've gotten slightly better about it recently, but it's a constant struggle!! I've gotten MUCH better about making sure I eat breakfast in the morning...and not the fast food kind. When I work in the mornings, I have been drinking a Nestle' Breakfast Essential mix, so that I am at least getting a little calcium in my diet (I really don't like milk) and a few key nutrients!! Once I start getting to the point where I can afford it, I will be replacing that with the Shakeology shakes, and upping the "healthy" factor. But for now, these are going to have to "do" I am also packing healthy snacks and lunches for while I am at work/school (I am a teacher for a mommy's day out program 2 days a week) - which is helping...but when I get home I start BINGEING! I can't cut snacks out of my house all together, because they aren't that bad...in moderation, and my kids need food to tie them over too. Well, that's not really a valid argument, because my kids could just as well eat fruits and veggies for snacks just like I can - but I am definitely using them as a crutch. Plus the fact that I have to get groceries for a full 2 weeks otherwise that money will get spent before....so the fruit and veggie thing doesn't last the whole time.

I NEED HELP and IDEAS on how to be healthier and keeping in the small budget we have!! I bought lots and lots of veggies and fruit this last trip....spent almost double what I normally spend, and it's already all starting to go bad - with the exception of what I can freeze!!!

That's my struggle today - aside from personal ones....one day things will just CLICK!!!

Happy AFTER Holidays!! ;)

Well, the Holidays did NOT treat me well!!! :( I was sooo proud when I reached 160...then BAM I caved with the Halloween Candy - didn't hurt too bad....Thanksgiving is what KILLED me!! I just can't say no to Mashed Potatoes and Mac and Cheese!!! And unfortunately, these are two very big staples at any family function! So, I over ate....waited a little bit, then overate some more....the pattern pretty much continued through Christmas. Then, I stepped on the scale and saw 168.9!!! Oh My GOSH!!!! I was so close to passing back over to that dreaded 170 mark that I have been trying ever since then to get back on my "diet" which really isn't a diet so much as watching what I eat, and how much I eat!! I am trying not to eat out so much, and to cook healthier meals. I recently bought the Biggest Loser Cookbook , and have been slowly implementing those into our weekly meal plans. My fridge looks like the produce isle - which is definitely a good think!! I am about to start trying to make my own Cream of Whatever soups, and slowly start cutting out processed foods all together. If I can just get my kids and hubby on board, I'll be all set to go!!!! :)

I've also been doing really well with getting back into the gym. I'm not hitting it super hard like I was before - going 2+ hours every day!! I am going every day with the exception of Monday and Wednesday nights, since I work the next day, for an hour. I am alternating cardio and weights. I am determined to do this right this time!!!

I hope that this isn't just another false start, but I think with Janis pushing me to workout with her during the day, that I can do it!!! I mean, if she can loose her baby weight after only 4 months (this is the 2nd kid for her too) then I can do it after almost 2 years!!! I know it's going to be harder, but I am tired of feeling so horribly about myself. I am tired of looking at my pictures and seeing the fat rolls!!!


INSPIRATION!!

That's a YOUTH MEDIUM shirt, and size 5 jeans!!! I WILL GET there!!!